The Lord had to put me in my place. He wasn’t real subtle.
During Lent I tasked myself with a couple of things as a sacrifice to the Lord and to improve my understanding of my faith/relationship with Jesus.
To me, the most precious gift we have is time. It is the only thing I can give that no one can ever repay. Therefore, for Lent I offered the Lord more of my time.
- I promised to say a Rosary everday.
- I promised to read religious books to deepen my understanding of my faith.
- I promised to go to Eucharistic Adoration once a week to pray and, more importantly, listen.
My personal journey which lead to the creation of Sonlight Pictures a few years ago was a life-long and often difficult one. It involved following the Lord’s will, getting excited, doing it, then the Lord changing my path. It included acting, writing, directing, working in TV, radio, theater, then working in corporate America, managing people, million dollar budgets, project management, process improvement… it has been a long and winding road.
It didn’t make sense to me until my brother Paul pointed it out… this odd path was the Lord’s way of preparing me for Sonlight Pictures. Every job I’ve had is utilized in running this company.
And he’s right. And I love doing it. I love writing scripts, shooting, editing, figuring out how to tell a faith story that is both entertaining and fulfilling. I love it, love it, love it.
And, from my history of changing paths, I found that my love of working on Sonlight Pictures had made me fearful that the Lord would take it away. Change his mind. Send me off to somewhere else doing something else like he had so many times before.
Not very faithful of me, is it?
At every Adoration I prayed for many things, including that the Lord would make clear to me the next project he wanted Sonlight Pictures to focus on. Over the course of Lent I got some hints and subtle nudges, but nothing substantial.
It wasn’t until the last Adoration that I finally got what the Lord wanted from me… he wanted me to give him back Sonlight Pictures.
I started the company as an answer to his call and consider it a vocation to him, with the purpose of giving glory to God. But, my growing attachment to the company had turned me into a selfish “employer” of God’s company instead of a willing “employee” of it.
It was only at the final few minutes of the last Adoration of Lent that I finally got the message. And it was loud and clear.
“Give it back to me.”
Fear and faith cannot co-exist. I can’t have faith and be obedient to the Lord while, at the same time, being afraid of what he’ll ask me to do.
So, I did. I gave Sonlight Pictures back to him. I removed my will from the equation. Hec, it was probably just getting in the way.
Which means we’ve officially reinstated our CEO, the big G. It’s his show. It’s his company.
It’s future is in his holy hands. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with!